What I Want My Sister to Know About Love

MAY 17, 2015

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I solemnly pulled another tissue from the box bedside and handed it to my sister.

After all, one of the unofficial responsibilities of being a big sis is emotional support during breakups. Even if those breakups are constant…and with the same person. I admired my sister for standing strong and ending an, albeit positive at times, ultimately volatile relationship. Cheering her on, I assured her that she had made the correct choice. I explained that she could move forward, her life would now be more stable.

Tearfully, her eyes met mine, as she cried out, “But love’s not supposed to be stable! It’s messy, and passionate, and complicated.” Speechless at the time, my mind has since been full of chatter on this matter. I certainly have had my string of complicated romantic situations. And I have yet to find that passionate but secure love story I was promoting. Could she be right?

In the media we are buried with the emotional baggage of complicated relationships. Plot lines stretched with the friends who become lovers, long-distance relationships gone wrong, the brother’s girlfriend ending up with the relative during Thanksgiving, and so on. But what about the fairytale? There is something to be said about the couple who find each other randomly at a bookstore or who meet through a group dinner and just don’t stop joyfully dating.

Yes, love is complicated because life is complicated. However, just as life can be good, happy, simple, and calm…so can love. When a relationship is difficult, sometimes it feels like we are working so hard that it must be right. It’s like hitting the gym five days a week to guarantee results. Pain is gain. But sometimes pain is just pain and when you’re in a relationship it can injure both parties involved.

Relationships may require work, but they don’t always have to be boot-camp. All love is different, and there may be difficult moments, but at the end of the day your relationship should make you feel happy. It may be hard to believe, but it really could just be simple as that.

 

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