The Night I Put My Heart on the Line

MARCH 19, 2014
Photo Credit: Emily Long

Photo Credit: Emily Long

There was a night when I put my heart on the line.  Ok, that sounds uber dramatic, I know. But trust me.  If you knew me beyond the words you are staring at right now, you would be starting a slow clap for me as an indie pop band from a stereotypical teen movie played in the background.

It all started after seeing the new Zac Efron movie, That Awkward Moment (side note: go see it and swoon over Zac, Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan).  At one point in the movie, Miles Teller wants to declare his love to a girl.  Miles and Zac get all bro-y and sweetly excited about the prospect which is immediately followed by Miles getting hit by a car.

Minus getting pummeled by a vehicle, it’s was all kind of inspiring while watching it on the big screen in a sugar coma from the jumbo slushie I just consumed.

Starting even farther back in the timeline, a guy we’ll call Mr. S. asked for my number in a casual, nonchalant way. Or at least I thought he did. It was all super casual…so casual that I may have invented it in my head. Being the oblivious guys-don’t-really-ask-for my-number kind of person that I am, I responded in an aloof – and upon reflection – rude way. If I could Marty McFly the situation, I would have Doc take me back to that moment so I could maturely give him my number, and then proceed to think about it until he called or didn’t call.

Now, cut to the part where I put my heart on the line. I needed to do something about this because the uncertainty was killing me. Was he just being drunk and polite? Are drunk people usually polite? Did he like me and really want to hang out? Did he think I would just sleep with him once if he called? Was I over-thinking all of this? (Yes!)

I think it was Plato… or maybe Sara Barellies who said “‘maybe’ …it’s a vicious little word that could slay me.” PREACH! I couldn’t let the “maybe” of the situation linger.

I decided the best way to go about this was through Facebook message — like the 13 year old cowardly woman-child that I am deep inside. Can you really blame me for being dependent on our generation’s flirting safety net? Give me a break…it was the bravest thing I could think of. And he should just be thankful “poking” on Facebook no longer exists (does it?).

After encouragement from sources that include my best friends (they know when to just tell you what you want to hear), a fishbowl (alcoholic juice literally in a fishbowl), and a cover performed by the Glee cast, I found the courage to hit “send” (of course after staring at the screen for 60 seconds which felt like a lifetime). I felt like Meg Ryan in “You’ve Got Mail”, and then thought of how irresistibly adorable that woman is.

I’ve been on a “be brave” kick for about 3 weeks, and this is where it all started. It’s so liberating that I think it’s responsible for creating some sort of natural high I’ve been on. Finally, for one of the first times in my life, I made a move.  A move that could either significantly rock my world or become barely a blip on my radar. Either way, it’s good practice. You have to walk the line. Most importantly, once you do, you’ll have actual experience in putting yourself out there and can give real advice to other people (as I am doing now) just like Oprah.

So, what I’m trying to say is that my desire to be Oprah-like is really the motivation behind all of this.  #YOLO

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