Oh, You’re Married

JANUARY 20, 2014
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Photo by Emily Long

I suppose it’s only appropriate to start with introductions. My name is Alexis and I am a married Millennial. I have been in a relationship with my husband, Justin, for eight years and married for one. We were married on 10.11.12 (see what I did there?) and we are seven years apart. I am 26 and he’s 33. The age difference has never been a concern, although it’s raised some questions. But that’s another post.

Me being a Millennial, married to someone who doesn’t identify as such, is actually annoying. This is the part where I try not to bash my husband or make you think he sucks, because he doesn’t. However, I plan to be honest.

Is marriage boring? It certainly can be if you let it. At times I find myself wishing I were single living in D.C. in an overpriced closet, drinking on a Tuesday. However, to combat those feelings, I look into travel plans or group dates to meet new people. #MillennialProblem number 1… my husband hates going to Arlington (expensive bar scene) or D.C. (expensive lounge scene), and that’s where people my age are hanging out! So compromising between the local smoky watering hole and the glitzy downtown life is tough and causes stress between us at times. It’s something we still work on.

Are we cool? Hip? Jiggy with it? No, absolutely not. We binge watch Netflix, rent Redbox frequently, and don’t miss “TV night” (Law and Order: SVU say whaaat). I question if that is the path I want so soon in life. I’m lucky if I’m not falling asleep by 11:00 PM. It’s okay, you can judge me. I have conflicted feelings on where I’m supposed to be in life with my husband. Pregnant? On my second child? Since he’s older than me, should I hurry up and settle for things? It’s an ongoing struggle, but I’m figuring out what works for us (and me) everyday.

I don’t consider 26 young to be married, but I do know, being a Millennial and married is different. No, I don’t have dinner on the table every night. No, I don’t expect my husband to support me while I know nothing about our financial situation. No, I won’t be quiet when adults are talking! That one is a little extreme, but you get the idea. Marriage is changing and I’m learning that everyday.

6 COMMENTS

  • Keri 4 years ago

    The differences you describe could easily exist regardless of your ages. Be together for the things you enjoy and give each other the freedom to do things separately if they aren’t common interests.

    • Alexis Ramsey 4 years ago

      It is true that our differences could not be age specific, but in our case, I believe they are. Thanks for reading, and your comment!

  • Joanna Hughes 4 years ago

    I’m a “married millennial” too… My life actually went: graduated college, found a full time job, got married, bought a house all within 2 years… yeah it was a lot. I love being married, but sometimes being 24, married and a homeowner makes it tough to find other people my age to relate to. My husband is a successful web developer at the age of 26 and I’ve found a great career in social media marketing…we have 401ks, savings, a mortgage and can splurge on “nice dinners” without worrying about affording our bills. Not many of our friends of the same age are in the same boat. I see articles all the time about “living a carefree life in your 20s” most of these articles start with intro citing “You’re not married, you don’t have a mortgage, etc” so you can go live that awesome, “GIRLS” inspired life with no regrets! But I AM married and I DO have a mortgage and if I lost my job or quit to find something else, there would be major consequences to my and my husband’s life style. Sometimes I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere… I’m too “grown-up” to be a carefree “millennial” but I don’t have kids so I don’t really fit into the “30-something with kids” group either. This is the first article I’ve seen talking about being married and a millennial, I hope to see more articles like this… because it feels nice to relate.

    • Quarterlette 4 years ago

      Thanks for your comment, Joanna! So glad that you were able to relate to this article and this writer.

    • Alexis Ramsey 4 years ago

      Hi Joanna! Thanks for your comment and I definitely relate to everything you’re saying. My husband and I just put in an offer for a house ourselves and while we can’t afford lavish vacations all the time, we certainly are able to do more than a lot of our other couple friends, which is nice, but also frustrating if you want other people to join you. We don’t have kids yet, but it’s on our radar. If you’re in the D.C. area, I would love to meet up and we can be in betweens together!

  • Malia Fontecchio 2 years ago

    I really enjoyed this article and related on a lot of the points. I am 27yo and my hubby is 34 so we are also from different generations. When I first mentioned Netflix to him, he said, ugh, we’re going to have to order the movie, and then wait for it to come in the mail, at which point I cracked up laughing at him. Have you been living under a rock?, I asked him. We just click a button and it plays. So, there are definitely some generational differences, which I derive endless pleasure from teasing him about. I work in an admin office, and most of my colleagues are middle-aged. Having my master’s, working a good white collar job, and being married sometimes makes me feel more like I’m 35 than 27. I don’t really go out either. My hubby and I also just binge-watch Netflix (we are currently on a Law&Order:SVU marathon as well). Even though I don’t really feel like I’m in my 20s, I am happy. So, maybe that’s all that matters. <3