Holiday Relationship Compromises

DECEMBER 22, 2014

Photo: Emily Long

Everyone always thinks it’s wonderful to have a boyfriend for the holidays. To have that special someone to go look at Christmas lights with, exchange presents, and of course to show off at your company’s holiday party. All of those things are really nice and it’s especially convenient to have someone to snuggle up with as the weather gets colder. But I don’t think enough people talk about the fact that along with a boyfriend comes that awkward conversation of “What are we going to do for the holidays?” And more to the point: “Whose family are we spending the holidays with?”

My boyfriend and I met in January of this year, so this will be our first Christmas together. It’s so easy to be selfish and stuck in my single girl way of living, but realistically we both are going to have to make compromises when it comes to the holidays. It works out well that we’ve both met each other’s families several times now and feel comfortable around them. There’s almost nothing worse than meeting a boyfriend’s family for the first time on a major holiday… way too many awkward moment opportunities.

We want to be together this year since it is our first Christmas, but like so many others, our typical holiday plans involve our own family traditions that we’ve been doing for as long as we can remember. My family is located in Southern California and his in Northern California which makes it a bit difficult to spend time with everyone in the one holiday weekend.

I know that everyone says you’re supposed to switch off years and holidays with each other’s families, but that really doesn’t sound appealing to me at all. Or at least not in this stage of our relationship. Now don’t get me wrong, I completely love my boyfriend and his family is great too. But my mom makes the absolute best Christmas morning breakfast in the whole world and I’m just not ready to give it up yet. I completely feel justified in not being ready to sacrifice my French Toast Soufflé and Brown Sugar Bacon that I look forward to year round.

Throughout this last year, as I’ve slowly been growing more out of my single girl selfishness and my relationship has grown more serious, my boyfriend and I have had to compromise on many issues. By compromising we’ve strengthened our relationship and learned more about each other in the process. It may not always be an easy solution to come to, especially around the holidays, but because of compromising we’re able to become more a part of each other’s families and continue to develop in our relationship.  And as much as I love my traditional Christmas morning breakfast, I also love that as my relationship develops we’ll be able to create our own traditions.

So after playing with several different options, we finally came up with a compromise that works for us. We were able to find cheap flights on Christmas Day so that I can still have my delicious Christmas morning breakfast with my family then catch a quick flight up North to be able to spend Christmas dinner and the rest of the weekend with his family.

Despite the stress of trying to figure everything out, I do think it’s worth it to at least try. But hopefully as the years go by, this holiday compromising will start to get easier.


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