Photo by Emily Long
I struggle with the idea of how tethered you are supposed to be to your significant other. I know couples that never leave each other’s side, and the only time you get to have a girls’ night is if the husband is out of town or working. To me, that’s a bit ridiculous, but if it works, then great.
If a girlfriend invites me to dinner, I’m going to assume it’s just us, and I won’t be dragging my husband along. However, I notice an awkward tension, particularly with single friends, who ask me if I’m going to be bringing my husband out, like he’s an accessory. If there is a group involved, yes he will be coming with me and I never feel the need to ask if that’s okay. Am I supposed to consider the fact that there are single people at an event and the sight of a couple depresses them?
There also seems to be a stigma that if a wife does not do enough activities by herself or with a girls-only group, that she is boring and must not be ALLOWED out. That is a silly assumption. Of course I am ALLOWED to go where I please because I am not a child, but do you know how easy it is to just bring your significant other along with you? It’s like living with a roommate and they automatically get an invite to everything you do.
I do my fair share of activities that do not involve my husband, like dinner with girlfriends, shopping, happy hours, etc. I won’t be gossiping with my husband, like I do with my girlfriends. I’m trying to meet new people, but to be honest, it’s hard to make new friends in your twenties, and I hate most people. That sounds harsh, but no one has time for fake friendships that mean getting coffee once a week and nothing more. (I live in the D.C. area if anyone wants to be friends)
I suppose that’s why the idea of finding other couples to hang out with is so appealing. The ease factor, and the fact that you’re SUPPOSED to bring your significant other! No questions, and no judgment about whether you hang out separately enough. My quest to make new girlfriends, and for my husband to have more guys’ nights, continues. So for now, I typically ignore the question “Are you going to bring your husband?”
So, tell me, how do you balance bringing your husband to events and hanging out independently?